Exasperated Calculator

Despite half going for the UK in this round of the Ashes (the other half knowing that they’re completely hopeless), I still have to laugh at some of the stuff from the BBC Online Commentary:

1439: WICKET – Cook ct Gilchrist b Lee 4, Eng 4-1 Oh no

11627: WICKET – Bell ct Gilchrist b Lee 28, Eng 64-3 That’s what pressure does to you – Bell swipes horribly at a wide one from Lee and snicks it into Gilchrist’s grateful gloves. Lee strikes in his first over back, and England slump again. Hey, at least we can all find something else to do on Saturday…

Maiden from McGrath, and England’s constipation is reaching chronic levels. Thing is, you don’t get any prunes from this attack.

Joy unconfined – a whole run!

Crunch – Warne leans back and drives Anderson high over cover for four, and that’s his half-century. The SCG crowd rise to him, laughing as they do so – it’s not been a classic knock, and he should have been out at least twice, but Warne being Warne, he’s still there. Hey – only two and half more days to go, and he can never hurt England again. Until he moves into coaching.

Lots of fun.

First, the background (from the Sydney Morning Herald):

The annual Walkley Awards for journalism were rocked by an attack on stage on Thursday night at the Crown Casino in Melbourne.

Controversial crikey.com.au writer Stephen Mayne was attacked by Sunday Telegraph columnist Glenn Milne.

Mayne had just finished awarding the best business news report to the Australian Financial Review’s Morgan Mellish when Milne rushed up onto the stage and accosted Mayne, pushing him off the platform and onto the floor.

But how did the audience react? According to the Herald:

Milne then began berating Mayne from the stage as the audience, which consisted of a representation of Australia’s top journalists, looked on horrified.

Dear oh dear? That sounds dreadful. But I wonder what News Limited has to say:

“You are an absolute disgrace,” an outraged Milne shouted, as an audience of the nation’s media elite erupted into laughter.

[....]

The ballroom full of guests at Melbourne’s Crown Casino cheered and whistled as Milne stumbled down the stairs and, still yelling insults, was led away.

Now which of these is true? Let’s go to the video.

Yep, that’d be whistling and cheering. Bad Fairfax, trying to spin things against News Limited.

From Way of the Rodent. I’d order it, but I’ve already spent something like $200 on geeky T-shirts this year.

While at Harvey Norman today I found this piece of inventive advertising:

A Choice award? How fantastic! Let’s investigate…

The CHOICE 2006 Shonky Awards Ten products to make you weep in despair. [...] The CHOICE Shonky for Best Dirt Redistribution Goes to the iROBOT ROOMBA robot vacuum cleaner (CHOICE, November 2006) [...] But what really made us doubt was its dirt redistribution function: when the small dirt container starts filling up, every time the iROBOT bumps into a wall or obstacle, a little heap of collected dirt falls out again. iROBOT? iDon’tthinkso.

Hmmm. Perhaps not quite what they suggested?

(As a disclaimer, I should note that I own a Roomba, and am extremely happy with it. I’m not sure exactly where Choice got its take from. Ditto their attack on the iPod in the same article, which seemed more designed to generate press coverage than actual consumer information).

Yes, I know. Why did I score so low?

Another one while I’m here:

Me:

Helen:

(Generated using South Park Studio).