Bond Villain Business Plan Review: Diamonds Are Forever

September 20th, 2015

Business Plan Summary: A blackmail auction of world powers to preserve their nuclear arsenal from a laser killer satellite.

Founder/Leader: Mr Blofeld once again has provided no additional background information. Given his past track record this will be the last application to be considered.

Key Personnel: Professor Doctor Metz, a brilliant laser technician. A noted disarmament campaigner, he probably should have checked references better before working for Mr Blofeld.

Support Staff: Mr Wint and Mr Kidd – while effective and methodical, they are further members of the SPECTRE ‘it doesn’t count unless it’s complicated’ school of killing.

Technology: Diamond-based laser satellite capable of destroying rockets and missiles from space.

Advanced plastic surgery and voice disguise: While quite useful in creating doubles, it would perhaps be more useful if used to make you look less like the subject a vengeful secret service agent is seeking.

Review: An improvement on previous plans, in that it’s not a doomsday weapon, but this plan is still far too vulnerable to a single point of failure at the control centre. If world powers can protect themselves by blowing you up, they’re probably going to try it.

And, as a small suggestion – cassette tapes are a poor medium for storing control codes. Locks on critical control mechanisms are also a great idea.

Recommendation: Do not invest. Given the track record Mr Blofeld’s SPECTRE will not be considered for further funding.