Trekathon 675: Star Trek: Nemesis (MOV)

March 11th, 2013

At long last, the much maligned final Star Trek TNG movie.

Rather than write a normal review this time, I thought that I’d go for a more scientific process. Here’s the minute-by-minute ‘worm’, tracking how much I ‘liked’ this film.


There are some good moments, but it’s all undermined by the main protagonist character. I really don’t know what they were thinking.

And here’s the play-by-play:

0:00 That music is Vangelis, not Star Trek

0:01 Stupid backwards R

0:03 Trade Negotiations – worked for Phantom Menace…

0:05 Yay for Wesley in the corner there.

0:07 Worf doesn’t know Romulan Ale is illegal.

0:08 Data is singing. Please kill me.

0:09 Pretty ship

0:10 “Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ll be in the gym” – OK, pretty funny.

0:13 Star Trek Off Roading????

0:16 No one’s mentioned Lore yet? (Or ever, in the entire course of the movie)

Worf remembers his rifle this time just in time for the attack?

Oh god, it’s a Star trek car chase

This looks like it was designed to be a video game level

0:20 Fine, make fun of the beards. But Geordi has one too, dammit!

0:21 Janeway, yay!

0:25 So far B4 is a drag on this movie

0:30 ‘May I touch your hair’???

0:33 A Clone? This is getting pretty stupid.

0:35 God the stupid Reman costumes are killing me.

0:38 B4 is in the Matrix now?

0:48 Now there’s a gratuitous sex scene? OK, but it turned creepy fast.

0:56 That was some smart stuff from Data and Picard there.

0:59 ‘Encrypted system’ – you mean a password?

1:01 Another level from the video game, driving the fighter through the ship.

1:03 ‘Temporal RNA’ technobabble crap.

1:07 A decent threat to motivate the movie. Eventually.

1:19 ‘Keep our bow on the scimitar’ but ship does a U-turn.. Twice.

1:25 Internal shields? Biosensors? Anything better than just wandering around the Jeffris Tubes?? Call for backup, even.

1:27 And that is why you don’t put a bridge on top of the ship.

1:28 At least we didn’t call it ramming speed.

1:31 I hope Picard got the Collision Damage Waiver.

1:32 Even an atuodestruct…

1:35 Ship is dead in space, and Data hands over command to the counsellor? WTF?

1:37 Here’s Jean-y.

1:39, Ah, the old ‘stab em with a pipe.

1:41 Not thrilled to see Data dead, but it’s a relatively ‘earned’ sacrifice.. And a sense of grief.

1:44 Chateau Picard wine too…

1:45 Why is the film not done?

1:47 Seriously, still not done?

1:48, Oh, there’s the reset button on Data. Way to undermine your work.

1:49 Finally, we’re done

675 down, 62 to go.